College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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