i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
