I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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