I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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