your thong is hanging out like whoa
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
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