On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
