So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
