i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
