I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
