You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
