Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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