Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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