lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
