You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
