What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
