If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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