you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
