im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
