Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
