Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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