**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize