i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
What happened to fro yo and sex?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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