i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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