Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
