It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
