I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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