he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
