i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Randomize
