I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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