Can Purell be used as lube?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
