Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
