plz talk dirty to me
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
