Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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