I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
