Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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