hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
