If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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