yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
In other news, I just burned my penis
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
