i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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