If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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