He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
