I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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