Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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