So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I have fence marks all over my body
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
