Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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