So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
