we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
