My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
