Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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