It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
