i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
