it wasn't lemon gatorade
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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