he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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