is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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