I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize