I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
