I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
