did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Randomize