I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
