doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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