none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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