a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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