Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
