You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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