I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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