I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
