Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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