Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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