Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
