Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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