thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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